When a loved one passes away unexpectedly, you can go through a whole spectrum of emotions. Grieving is a difficult process, and unexpected death doesn’t give you the necessary preparation time that you can often get with a loved one’s passing.
If you’ve never had a loved one pass before, you might not know how to cope with death. If that’s the case, we’re here to help.
We can’t ease the burden or the emotions, but we can offer suggestions for how to cope in a difficult situation. Read on for 5 of our tips for how to deal with death when it comes without warning.
Allow Yourself Time to Mourn
Some people may feel like they’re wasting time (their own or the time of others) when they’re mourning a loved one who has passed. Time seems to come to a standstill, and it feels like nothing else matters.
When a death is expected (like when someone is elderly or sick), you have a period of mourning time before the death occurs. This may cut down on some of the grief. You also get to know that the loved one in question is no longer in pain, which is comforting.
When a death is unexpected, you don’t have those things. You need more time to grieve, and that’s okay.
Take Care of Practicalities
When someone passes away, there’s work to do. You’d be better off letting other people help you with this work instead of doing it alone, but it does need to get done.
You may need to plan a funeral and arrange a burial or cremation. There are a lot of steps to this process, and there’s a lot of paperwork to be done.
You also may have legal things to manage depending on how the death happened. Everything you need to know about suing for wrongful death is available online, but you may need help from an experienced lawyer to manage it.
Focus On Self-Care
When in mourning it’s easy to forget about taking care of yourself. You need to make sure that you’re taking care of the essentials. Are you eating when you’re supposed to? Are you keeping clean and healthy?
Something tragic happened, and you’re allowed to wallow in it for a while, but you also need to make sure that your needs are taken care of. Treat yourself gently during this time.
Get Professional Help
Managing grief alone is difficult. Even friends and family can’t always ease the burden. This is an ideal time to seek professional counselling.
You can do counselling one-on-one, or you can join special group therapy sessions for people in mourning.
These sessions will make you feel less isolated, and they’ll give you valuable coping strategies for managing your grief. There’s no shame in seeking therapy during a vulnerable time.
Be Patient
Grieving isn’t a linear process. It comes in stages, but those stages may double back or go out of order.
You will feel better eventually, but it isn’t a race. Allowing yourself to feel these complicated feelings will help you heal. Resisting them will only frustrate you.
Handling an Unexpected Death Isn’t Easy
When you have an unexpected death in your family or friend circle, everything comes crashing down. We’re not given a guidebook on how to handle it, and there’s no way to prepare.
Give yourself grace, and make sure that you have adequate support. You’re not alone.
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